Guestpost by Jana Leskinen - the founder of Face Rituals, a holistic facial massage expert

For a long time, I was very good at telling other people to take care of themselves. I would talk about listening to your body, releasing tension, taking time out and making space for the things that fill your cup. But if I’m honest, I wasn’t always doing those things myself. For years, I wasn’t really taking care of myself in the way I was encouraging other women to, and eventually I started to feel like a bit of a hypocrite. It’s only really been over the last year that I have started putting myself forward on my own list and making a conscious effort to take care of myself too.

That experience has changed the way I see self-care. I don’t think it needs to be complicated, expensive or something that only happens when you finally have a free afternoon. To me, self-care is much more about listening to your body and your intuition and noticing what you actually need. Sometimes that might be a treatment, a massage or going to the gym, but sometimes it is much simpler. It might be reading in the bath, taking a walk outside, having some quiet time away from my phone, listening to something on the train or simply taking a few moments for myself during a busy day. It is about finding the things that genuinely fill your cup and making space for them, rather than constantly running on empty.

This is something I see so much through my work. I work with tension in the face, neck, scalp and body, and I see how closely that tension can be connected to the way we are living. When someone is stressed, constantly busy, doing too much or spending a lot of their time doing things they don’t really love, the tension often comes back. We carry stress in the body, and sometimes we carry emotions there too. The jaw becomes tight, the shoulders creep upwards, the forehead becomes tense and the body can start to feel like it is permanently switched on. We can get very good at ignoring those signals because being busy has become normal, but our bodies are often telling us something long before we are ready to listen.

This is why I don’t think self-care should only happen when you are completely exhausted. I think it should be part of how we look after ourselves along the way. It can be a way of checking in with yourself and asking, How am I actually feeling? What do I need right now? Sometimes we need movement, sometimes we need rest, sometimes we need connection and sometimes we simply need some quiet.

I think this becomes even more important when you are a mum. So much of motherhood is about taking care of someone else. There are always things that need doing, someone who needs something and another reason to put yourself at the bottom of the list. I understand how easy it is to think that taking time for yourself is selfish or that you should get everything else done first. But I actually believe the opposite. When I am happy, fulfilled and taking care of myself, that radiates onto my family, my friends and the people I meet. I have more energy, I am more present and I have more of myself to give.

I also want my children to grow up seeing that taking care of yourself is normal. I want them to see that you can make time for things that bring you joy, that you are allowed to rest and that looking after yourself is not something you need to feel guilty about. I want them to see a woman who is full of life and energy, not because life is always easy or because I never feel tired or stressed, but because I understand that I also need to look after the person who is looking after everyone else.

And self-care doesn’t necessarily mean finding hours of extra time in your day. My life is busy too, so I have learnt to take the small moments where I can. I go to the gym, I read in the bath, I get outside, I take time away from my phone and I make sure I have moments where I can just be quiet. I also love swapping treatments with other therapists - massages, lashes, bodywork, naprapathy and more because it means we are all reminded to receive as well as give. Sometimes the person I am swapping with is essentially being forced to do some self-care too, which I actually love.

I think one of the biggest things that stops women from taking care of themselves is the feeling that they don’t have time. And I understand that, especially when you have children, a business, a job, a home and a hundred other things competing for your attention. But if you genuinely feel like you don’t have time for self-care, I would argue that you probably need it more than anyone. You don’t have to start with an hour. Start with ten minutes a week. Then perhaps twenty minutes, then an hour. Start somewhere and let yourself get used to the idea that your needs matter too.

Because when we continually put ourselves last, we can unintentionally send ourselves a message that everyone else is worth our time, but we are not. And I don’t believe that is true. You are worth the time. You are worth the quiet. You are worth doing the things that make you feel alive.

Taking care of yourself is not taking something away from the people you love. If anything, it gives them more of you, more patience, more energy, more presence, more happiness and more excitement about your own life. It allows you to come back to your family, your work and your relationships feeling more connected to yourself rather than completely depleted.

For me, self-care is ultimately about coming back to yourself. Listening to your body, trusting your intuition, taking time out, releasing some of what you are carrying and making space for the things that make you feel lighter and more alive. Because you deserve to feel good in your own life, not just be good at taking care of everyone else.